Choosing to go to a Relationship counselor for relationship issues is a step that takes lot of contemplation.
It requires a realization and acceptance that there are certain problems in relationship. The toughest task is acceptance of the problem. Most of the people in relationship are not aware of the process of therapy and have problem in taking a decision to consult a marital therapist for the problems that they face in their marriage.
A lot of people have this stigma, that going to a therapist will prove that one of them has a problem and so they postpone the idea of the visit again and again. At times, one of the partners plan to visit the therapist but the other one refuses and vice-versa. The process continues for long till the time lot damage has already happened in the marriage.
Here I am listing some significant indicators, that consulting a Relationship Counselor, is necessary for you:
- Getting into frequent arguments: During the conversation it is seen that frequent confrontations are present, to prove to the other person that his or her opinion is incorrect. Picking up minor issues to challenge the thoughts of the other person, to make him/her feel bad. Relationship counselor tries to help the couple identify the causal factors of arguments.
- Negative Communication: There is a constant feeling that not being understood and feeling frustrated. A lot of trouble starts from the pattern of communication i.e. how we get into a conversation and how we don’t get into a conversation. Relationship counselor helps couples understand and practice healthy communication skills.
- Lack of communication: In some relationships there is an uncomfortable silence when being together. Lack of willingness to sit and discuss is another significant indicator of problem in a relationship. Not spending time together and trying avoid the conversations is a sign that something is not right in the relationship.
- Trust has been broken: Another common reason to seek therapy is when there is breach of trust. When one of the partners feels that the other one has started lying or has started keeping secrets. Infidelity by one of the partners also leads to significant damage to a relationship. This is the time, when the couple must seek professional help.
- Feeling of not being listened to: There are cases where in one of the partners feel that his /her point of view is not taken while making a decision. This feeling of not being considered worthy of giving opinion builds in resentment in most of the cases.
- Respect: Feeling disrespected by one’s partner is another significant indicator of a disturbed relationship. Even while disagreeing there has to be respect in conversation. Disrespecting the partner in front of a third person, which leads to loss of self-respect and in turn damages further trust and respect in relationship. The feeling that “if I say anything, then I will be criticized or ridiculed”, leads to living with fear and makes one feel suffocated in a relationship. At this time, it becomes essential to seek professional help.
- Lack of Physical Intimacy: Yes it’s true that couples do have dry spells in a relationship. But complete lack of intimacy is an important sign. At times it’s an internal issue that is not talked about much. But in some cases the partners express their frustration overtly in relation to intimacy.
- Aggression and physical violence: A relationship with aggression whether physical or emotional needs immediate action. The client should never take abuse of any form. Take immediate professional help in such a case.
A well trained, experienced and qualified marital therapist/relationship counselor, will help the clients learn techniques to improve the communication and most importantly, to handle stressful situation in a healthy and sensitive manner. If any of the couples is suffering from one or more of the above mentioned indictors, then it’s time to visit a marital therapist/relationship counselor.
Have an objective to create a relationship that feels like the most heavenly place in the world.