Marriage Counselor helps a couple to enhance the status of the relationship of a couple. But they also provide awareness about the various aspects of the relationship. Deepali Batra, is a Marriage Counselor in Delhi, providing information about which mistakes a couple makes inadvertently and could be avoided easily.Marriage is a beautiful bond that two people share. Marriage, in other words means planning to share each other’s lives. Over a period of time the bond may change for the better or worse, depending on how you manage it.
A painting when looked at from a distance may appear to be beautiful and pleasing, but just as you move closer and closer, you may begin to notice the strokes very carefully. Consequently, you may become aware of the imperfections in the painting. Similarly, in a marriage, when you get to know your partner completely or his/her ‘not-so-desirable behaviours’, it might trigger the feelings of non-acceptance and anguish. Let us discuss some of the most common mistakes that we may make in relationships or marriage, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign : Not asking about their feelings / emotions:
Sometimes it becomes important to ask in clear statements things like ‘how are you?’, ‘what’s on your mind?’, ‘is everything okay?’, ‘is something wrong?’ and so on. Your spouse sometimes may feel hesitant to share their concerns and not taking an initiative to know about their emotional turmoil may give your spouse a feeling of not being attended to or taken care of.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Not being there in their tough times
We all have some ups and downs in our lives and during those times emotional support by your closed ones play a crucial role. Not making your partner feel that you are ‘there’ for them might be one of the biggest mistakes that you may commit in your marriage. Yes, you may not provide them with the solution to your problems but definitely you can be a provider of support as they deal with their difficult times.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign:Underestimating or undermining them or their qualities
Intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes you may undermine or underestimate their good qualities or things related to them, like their profession, choices, hobbies. Doing this may cause a huge damage to your relationship.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign : Postponing or delaying discussion about important topics
In every relationship, there are some important topics that need to be discussed. They may be painful to talk about but putting them under the carpet and not confronting them will only lead to piling up making them difficult to deal with later on. Ensure that make the important discussions, even if they aren’t comforting.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Not spending enough time together
You might be sitting with your spouse in the same room or sharing the same bed, but it does not equal to spending time together. Imagine sitting together for an hour or so but both of you using gadgets. Confusing quantity time with quality time might be making things worse for you in the long term.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Being too critical \ reminding them of their negative qualities
Yes, we all are a fusion of perfections and imperfections, good and bad qualities, blacks and whites but we definitely do not want to be with a person who serves as a constant reminder of our negative qualities. Yet, sometimes you only may be the perpetrator!
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Carrying the grudges or not letting go of the past
You might feel that you have forgiven and forgotten the past, but it may not be true always. Have you ever caught yourself reminding your spouse of their past mistakes? If yes, then that’s a danger signal to watch out for!
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Using their admitted mistakes as a weapon
Often while trying to solve arguments, one person may admit their mistakes and seek forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness does not mean that they are weak and these should not be used a weapon to make the other person feel guilty.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Not appreciating enough
Not paying attention to the professional milestones, their good qualities, and not praising them enough may be a mistake that you might be doing.
Marriage Counselor Warning Sign :Not acknowledging their small efforts
Cooking your favourite meal, planning a dinner at your favourite restaurant, planning surprise might be some small yet efforts that need acknowledgement and praise.